1. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy!
'Cause when I got one...I got real snippy.
2. I heard you had herpes...and I feel terrible...I'd say "get
well soon" but I know it's incurable!
3. My tire was thumping I thought it was flat...when I looked at
the tire, I found your cat...Sorry!
4. You had your bladder removed and your on the mends... here's a
bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends!
5. You've announced that you're gay, and won't that be a laugh,
when they find out you're one... of the Joint Chiefs of Staff!
6. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled you day...look at
the bright side, she's a really good lay!
7. Heard your wife left you...How upset you must be...Don't fret
about your wife though, She's moving in with me!
8. Your computer is dead... and it was so alive...you shouldn't
have installed...Win '95!
9. You totalled your car...and can't remember why...maybe it
was...that case of Bud Dry!
10. So you lost your job...It's one of those hardships in
life...Next time work harder... and stay away from the boss's